MindPrep HW2

Genetics:
My parents were always overweight, but not super obese. I have a sister who is very obese and another that is overweight. And my brother is normal weight. My grandparents were normal weight as far as I could tell. I personally think genetics have very little to do with my weight.

Culture and Environment:
Growing up we didn't eat a ton of junk for but often times the food wasn't that great for you either. Mostly a typical American diet except that we had white rice at almost every meal. That being said, I was never really heavy until I hit my 20's. Even though I feel I'm well versed about nutrition and exercise I slowly ate out more and more. And sometimes didn't even care at all about how much food I was eating. I created my own culture of excess.

Metabolism:
I'm guessing I have a typical metabolism. It's definitely not high, but when I eat right and exercise I do lose weight. I can't eat whatever I want like my brother-in-law. I know my metabolism revs up if I'm doing resistance training and staying away from bad carbs.

Illness and Medications:
I don't think I get ill more often than most people my age. I get the occasional cold or flu but nothing too crazy. I am on many medications. I think I would probably be able to get off all of them if I got down to a more normal weight. Might have to keep the one for gout though since I had those flairs before I became morbidly obese,

Sleep:
I sleep fairly well because I use a CPAP. I do notice when I eat better/less that I'll sleep for longer stretches. If I'm eating a lot of junk, especially before bed then I'll typically wake up after 4-5 hours to use the bathroom. When I'm eating right I'll sleep about 6-7 hours straight. I do feel somewhat tired on most days. I think that's just because of my weight. Even when I get 8-10 hours of sleep I'll often feel a little tired. This is way better than what it was before the CPAP though. Before that I was lethargic all the time.

Personal Behaviors:
Well, obviously, I have a history of not exercising regularly and eating too much of the wrong things. Those behaviors need to change for me to be successful with this weight loss.

Psychological Aspects:
Being overweight can play a heavy role on the psyche. Especially when you are as big as I am. I know that people look at me differently. One guy on the bus actually asked me how heavy I was. Most people are cool about it though. But unless you're my weight you don't really understand everything that a big person goes through. I can't do certain things in life. In general, the opposite sex is not attracted to me. And my self esteem suffers sometimes too. When I lose this weight I will definitely be more confident. It's going to affect so many areas of my life in a positive way.

MindPrep HW1

1. Over the past several years, maybe a decade or more, I've thought about what it would be like to get weight loss surgery. It was basically a pipe dream for me though since I didn't have health insurance. When I did get health insurance in mid-2013 I realized this dream could become a reality. Over time my weight has slowly crept up (with some times of significant weight loss in there too). I was near 400lbs, a weight I thought I'd NEVER see. As I gained weight health problems arose, diabetes, high blood pressure, gout, high cholesterol, high triglycerides, sleep apnea etc. And the daily aches and pains of lugging that weight around. My relationships suffered in that I couldn't do as much "stuff". Active things like I loved doing when I was younger. I currently get cramps at night because of my job. I know this would be alleviated also if I were thinner. This is the perfect time to get this done before my weight gets completely out of control. I'm still relatively young and it's time to take charge of my life so I can get the most out of it now and in the future.

2. Almost everyone in my life has been very supportive. My two best friends Mike and Sean especially. But also my friends at work, acquaintances I see and meet, and other good friends/people I've told about the surgery. When I told my mom about it a few weeks ago she didn't seem to excited about it but I just think she doesn't realize how important it is for someone like me. She wasn't against it. She just emphasized exercising a lot to me. Everyone important in my life I've already told. If I do come across someone who it against it I'll let them know the benefits of it and the success I've seen.

3. I'm excited about this incredible opportunity to have this tool to finally help me get in shape. I'll live longer, feel better and be able to do more with my life. So many aspects of my life will improve as I shed the weight. I'm looking forward to getting off most if not all of my medications. To being able to shop in regular stores for clothes. To be more active and do more fun activities with friends. To be able to do my job better/easier. To feel more confident. To be able to show the world the person that I really am. I'm concerned about the long term eating. I don't want to fall back into bad habits once I lose the weight. So many people gain much of the weight back because they don't stick with their diet and exercise. I'm confident I can do it but I know it will be a day to day challenge.

4. I plan on walking up a flight of stairs and not feeling winded. I plan on taking a trip back to Colorado and exercising at Red Rocks amphitheatre. And going up the 402 steps straight through. I plan on getting on a plane and not making the person next to me uncomfortable and not have to wear a seatbelt extender. I'd like to visit my father in Hawaii and pay my respects to him. It's been too long since I've seen his burial site. I'm going to maintain a weight of LESS THAN 300lbs for the REST OF MY LIFE. There is NO reason I cannot accomplish this goal with this incredible tool I've been blessed with. I plan on becoming a healthier, more confident man and finding a partner in life that shares my lifestyle goals and ambitions.

5. I'm tracking my food on MyFitnessPal. I'm walking more. I'm joining a gym. I'm finding local hiking trails. I'm cutting out sugar from my diet. I'm cutting out soda from my diet. I'm limiting my caffeine intake and cutting out coffee. I'm drinking LOTS of water. I'm letting everyone know about my new lifestyle so they can support me.

This is IT

Last Thursday was a rough day for me. I found out the woman I (thought) I loved was about to meet another. And earlier in the day was hit with a set of stringent guidelines on what I should and shouldn't be eating to prepare for surgery.

So far I think I've handled both pretty well. I've leaned on some close friends for some good advice (and actually took some of it!) As for the girl, so many emotions have crossed my mind the last week. Ultimately I've accepted and understand what she's doing. Quite honestly, if the roles were reversed I'd probably be doing the same thing. That Sting song that goes "If you love somebody set them free" keeps going through my head. She's a wonderful person and I love her too much to wish anything but happiness towards her. If it's meant to be, we'll end up together. And if I don't there's no doubt I'll find a quality woman in the next few years. Only time will tell what will happen.

And the health stuff kind of dovetails with the female stuff. My two best friends Mike and Sean both pretty much said the same things. "This is a HUGE opportunity for you to change your life FOREVER. Imagine how great your life will be when the pounds come off. You gotta do it anyway so just kick ass and do it. You'll have plenty of chicks to choose from once you can show them who you really are."

It would have been easy for me to revert to my same old habits and go back to eating a bunch of crap. And HOPING I could bullshit my way through this surgery and come out on the other end and change. But I really need to make those changes now. I've been walking everyday and I'm probably going to re-join my gym. Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been easy. Cutting my calories by more than have has been crazy (in a good way). But I'm not going to blow this. This really is the opportunity of a lifetime. My life is improving everyday. The results I'll see in the coming months and years will be AMAZING.

Gotta do it ONE DAY AT A TIME

Colorado

I find myself longing for Colorado from time to time. I guess it's mostly the open spaces I think about. And those incredible hikes I took. The satisfaction and joy from hiking up a mountain is awesome. I can't seem to replicate that in anything else. (maybe because I haven't tried?) I have no realistic notion of moving back there or anything but I would definitely like to visit again someday. Maybe climb up those stairs at Red Rocks one last time.

Things are going pretty good right now. Other than being a little sick at the present moment. I caught a virus recently and it beat me up for a few days. I should be 100% by tomorrow hopefully. It was so bad I actually went to the doctor to get some meds.

RTA has a Operations Supervisor position opening up. There's about 6-8 drivers applying for it. I'd say right now I have about a 30% chance of getting it. My friend Donna probably is the best fit in all honesty. But I think I'd do a good job too. Of course I would have loved to have had that accounting position but that shipped sailed months ago. I should know within 1-2 weeks if I get this one. No credit check on this one!

Bariatric surgery is still a "GO" for now. Don't know the timeline yet. But I'm hoping by the end of Summer. I'm worried about a couple things. If they (someone, HMO, dr, surgeon) are going to want me to lose some weight before hand. And then if/when I do get the surgery how I'll handle the dramatic change in my eating habits. This whole process is kinda screwy in my opinion.

Ona Lacher

My grandmother would be 115 if she were alive today. It's her birthday. March 7, 1899. I wish I had known her. Maybe she would have helped me be a better person? Who knows. Not that I'm a bad person. I happen to think I'm a decent guy. But there's always room for improvement. I would have loved to hear stories of her growing up at the turn of the 20th century. And how bad it really was during the depression. My mom always told me she was the kindest loving woman you could ever meet. She was so sweet to my mom when my dad came home with his new bride. I'll never forget in February 2010 when I took that trip to Iowa and I found her and my Grandpa's (Franklin Lacher) graves. The tears just started flowing. So many emotions. Wishing I could thank them for raising my dad. Wishing I could have met them (I did meet my Grandma when I was one). Just being so close to them physically, yet so far away. Wondering if they were looking down on me. And what they were thinking. And what advice they would give me. Would they be mad at me for not achieving to my potential? Or would they just love me because I'm their flesh and blood. I stood there crying for a good ten minutes on that cold winter afternoon in the middle of a small town in Iowa. It was wonderful.

Hope (St)

I moved into a new place almost two month ago. A little studio in the back of a house by Cal Poly. I like the privacy and it's plenty big for me. The problem is the landlords (the owners in the main house) kind of suck. I keep asking them to fix stuff and they don't. They're just very unprofessional. I really don't want to move again. Moving is a pain in the ass. And this location works really well for me. I'm almost resigned to just put up with it. I am a little concerned about how hot it's going to get in here in the summer. There's no AC. There is a fan at least. I guess we'll see.

So, we got a new union contract at work. I'm not a big fan of it. I get a whopping $.10 raise. I voted No but I guess I'll have to deal with it. Management really massaged the numbers to make it look good. Personally I think we're going to get screwed on the healthcare benefits in the coming years. But it seems my fellow drivers don't agree. Oh well.

Time to move on. I really need to start adjusting the eating and exercising more. Not to mention saving money. I could really change my life for the better this year. I'm NOT going to squander this opportunity.

Disappointment (part 2)

Well, what I was really going to write about the other day was my disappointment in not getting the Accounting Technician job at RTA. Last Thursday when I got the call from Tania that SLO County didn't deem my credit worthy enough I was shattered. I had put so much into getting this position. And then to be offered the job and have it essentially taken away from me really sucked. I even called the County and spoke with the HR lady. She didn't budge.

So, now it's time to move on. There could be other opportunities at RTA coming up. I just have to be ready for them if they arise. And there is so much other stuff for me to focus on right now anyway. Mainly my health. Yes, I know that is a "broken record" for me. But this is different in a significant way. If I do the right things and save enough money, then in 8-9 months I could be having gastric bypass surgery. That would change my life immensely.